A serial dream killer

I'm falling. Again, of course - since it is my style. The difference is that this time it is by free will. I spread my wings and they just do not cut done. I knock, knock, and nothing happens, I get increasingly closer to the infinite abyss. Gradually, their black feathers will come off the air, floating gently, indifferent to my dismay, my fall inert. As if they were useful to me. But still, they spend out of me. And in the end I'm alone. "Naked and bleeding," have said. All alone, like when it started.
I'm not crazy. No! Maybe this is just evil, steeped in my heart. Maybe it's just a mechanism for self-defense, created by time. What, in fact, I do not know for sure. The only thing I know is that gradually grows in me a desire killer. Do not rest until you see all around me bleeding. And it always does that. I delight with the sound of blood gushing from the torn flesh, disrupting its natural course. The sound of breaking bones reassure me. The sound of the vocal cords vibrate in the middle of trying a trachea is open and bloody music to my ears. Is this morbid slaughter that I find my peace. Amid so many corpses, I'm fine. God, I think that's wrong, but it's so easy ... It's so tempting ... My pain, my problems, my anxieties, my dilemmas ... all are alive only in the veins of all who are close enough for me! And the solution is obvious! A bit of blood dripping, e. .. Puft! Everything runs with the crimson liquid.
At these times, I'd be more courageous. I would be so practical, so cold, so calculating as I can in my darkest dreams. I would not reconsider the hasty. I would not think of what might happen, just arm myself, and be done with it. But when God have mercy on me and gives me the courage, her face, my friend, comes to mind. And inside, see also our friends. And I see tears, because I start to feel that an unknown party, who still lives in my heart beat. And each heartbeat, a record comes to mind: a smile. A hug. A company forever. A safe haven. A foundation. A light. And then this living part of my heart is scared because he did not recognize me anymore. "What's happening?",  He asks. And I'm afraid, because I do not know how to respond. And in this dilemma, which is born in hell, and blessed by the cruelty and lives in me, I wonder back to the small portion of my heart alive, "Am I going crazy?"

[Fernando M. Minighiti][06.10.2010][22:07]